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A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3. The boys
began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the
opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'Kevin turned to his
younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
There was a sheriff looking for a new deputy, and a Redneck went in to apply
for the job. "OK," said the sheriff, "What is 1+1?" The redneck thought for
aminute, and finally said, "11."The sheriff asked, "What two days of the
weekstart with the letter T?" The redneck said, "That's easy, Today and
Tomorrow." The sheriff said, "Now the last question, who killed Abraham
Lincoln?" The redneck thought really hard, and at last said, "I don't know."
The sheriff smiled and said, "Well, why don't you go home and work on that."
So the redneck went home and his wife asked him how it went. The redneck
replied, "Great! He already put me on a murder case!"
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a very well-dressed,
middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love"
stamps on a huge stack of bright pink envelopes. Each envelope has hearts
allover it. The man then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying
scentall over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to
the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says "I'm sending out
1,000 Valentines cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a
divorce lawyer," the man replies.
It was time for an elderly gentleman to be put into a nursing home, as his
grown children could no longer care for him.After a week, the children went
to visit their father at the nursing home. During the visit, the father
leaned to the right, and a nurse quickly came over and propped him up with a
pillow. A little while later, he leaned to the left, and again a nurse came
and propped him up with another pillow. The man's children were amazed at
howattentivethe home seemed to be, and questioned their father on how he
liked it there. He responded, "I've been treated well, but I've got to tell
you....they sure don't want you to fart here.
fan0aja?31steel&fabricating.</p>
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