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A man was travelling abroad in a small red car. One day he left the car and
went shopping. When he came back, its roof was badly damaged. Some boys told
him that an elephant had damaged it. The man did not believe them, but they
took him to a circus which was near there. The owner of the elephant said,
'I am very sorry! My elephant has a big, round, red chair. He thought that
your car was his chair,and he sat on it!' Then he gave the man a letter, in
which he said that he was sorry and that he would pay for all the damage.
When the man got back to his own country, the customs officers would not
believe his story. They said, 'You sold your new car while you were abroad
and bought this old one!' It was only when the man showed them the letter
from the circus man that they believed him.
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around
that they offered a standing $1,000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon
until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone
who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many
people had tried over time (weightlifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody
could do it. One day a scrawny little man wearing thick glasses and a
polyester suit came in and said in a tiny, squeaky voice, "I'd like to try
the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said okay, grabbed
a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind
to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the
man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As
the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1,000, and asked the little man,
"What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weightlifter, or
what?" The man replied, "I work for the IRS."
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